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I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.

Graham Chapman

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Graham Chapman
Age: 48 †
Born: 1941
Born: January 8
Died: 1989
Died: October 4
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Physician
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Leicester
England
Gray Chapman
Graham Arthur Chapman
Service
Afraid
Confuse
Good
Recommend
Qualified
Cats
Personally
Extremely
Cat

More quotes by Graham Chapman

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You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.
Graham Chapman
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Tis but a scratch! A scratch? Your arm's off! No it isn't. Then what's that? Oh come on, pansy!
Graham Chapman
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McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...
Graham Chapman
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In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
Graham Chapman
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One, two, ... five! Three, my lord.
Graham Chapman
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Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!!
Graham Chapman
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Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
Graham Chapman
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I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Graham Chapman
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We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
Graham Chapman
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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.
Graham Chapman
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Camelot is a silly place.
Graham Chapman
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It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.
Graham Chapman
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This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
Graham Chapman
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My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.
Graham Chapman
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When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.
Graham Chapman
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Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.
Graham Chapman
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At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before.
Graham Chapman
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Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.
Graham Chapman
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I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
Graham Chapman
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One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
Graham Chapman