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I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Graham Chapman

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Graham Chapman
Age: 48 †
Born: 1941
Born: January 8
Died: 1989
Died: October 4
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Physician
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Leicester
England
Gray Chapman
Graham Arthur Chapman
Saying
Moistened
Went
Monty
Away
Autonomous
Mean
Peasants
Emperor
Round
Rounds
Holy

More quotes by Graham Chapman

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This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
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When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.
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We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
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Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.
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Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!!
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WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color?
Graham Chapman
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John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
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At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before.
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Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.
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Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
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We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
Graham Chapman
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I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
Graham Chapman
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Camelot is a silly place.
Graham Chapman
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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.
Graham Chapman
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Graham Chapman
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We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!
Graham Chapman
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One, two, ... five! Three, my lord.
Graham Chapman
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Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.
Graham Chapman
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McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...
Graham Chapman
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Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.
Graham Chapman