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I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Graham Chapman

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Graham Chapman
Age: 48 †
Born: 1941
Born: January 8
Died: 1989
Died: October 4
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Physician
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Leicester
England
Gray Chapman
Graham Arthur Chapman
Saying
Moistened
Went
Monty
Away
Autonomous
Mean
Peasants
Emperor
Round
Rounds
Holy

More quotes by Graham Chapman

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We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
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When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life.
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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.
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Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.
Graham Chapman
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Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.
Graham Chapman
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Graham Chapman
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It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.
Graham Chapman
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I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim.
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I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
Graham Chapman
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We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!
Graham Chapman
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One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
Graham Chapman
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Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
Graham Chapman
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My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.
Graham Chapman
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McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...
Graham Chapman
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WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color?
Graham Chapman
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One, two, ... five! Three, my lord.
Graham Chapman
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John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
Graham Chapman
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In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
Graham Chapman
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At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before.
Graham Chapman
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This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
Graham Chapman