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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.
Graham Chapman
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Graham Chapman
Age: 48 †
Born: 1941
Born: January 8
Died: 1989
Died: October 4
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Physician
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Leicester
England
Gray Chapman
Graham Arthur Chapman
System
Ponds
Lying
Peasants
Women
Geek
Government
Basis
Bases
Lyin
Listen
Monty
Holy
Swords
Strange
Autonomous
More quotes by Graham Chapman
Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
Graham Chapman
Tis but a scratch! A scratch? Your arm's off! No it isn't. Then what's that? Oh come on, pansy!
Graham Chapman
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Graham Chapman
Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.
Graham Chapman
I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.
Graham Chapman
At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before.
Graham Chapman
I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
Graham Chapman
John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
Graham Chapman
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Graham Chapman
Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.
Graham Chapman
It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.
Graham Chapman
We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
Graham Chapman
I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim.
Graham Chapman
We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
Graham Chapman
In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
Graham Chapman
My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.
Graham Chapman
One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
Graham Chapman
When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.
Graham Chapman
When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life.
Graham Chapman
Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.
Graham Chapman
