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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.

Graham Chapman

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Graham Chapman
Age: 48 †
Born: 1941
Born: January 8
Died: 1989
Died: October 4
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Physician
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Leicester
England
Gray Chapman
Graham Arthur Chapman
Lying
Peasants
Women
Geek
Government
Basis
Bases
Lyin
Listen
Monty
Holy
Swords
Strange
Autonomous
System
Ponds

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One, two, ... five! Three, my lord.
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Camelot is a silly place.
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At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before.
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We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
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Tis but a scratch! A scratch? Your arm's off! No it isn't. Then what's that? Oh come on, pansy!
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We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!
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John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
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When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life.
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In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
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McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...
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I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
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I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim.
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Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.
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This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
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Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
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Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.
Graham Chapman
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It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.
Graham Chapman
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I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Graham Chapman
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One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
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I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.
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