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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.

Graham Chapman

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Graham Chapman
Age: 48 †
Born: 1941
Born: January 8
Died: 1989
Died: October 4
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Physician
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Leicester
England
Gray Chapman
Graham Arthur Chapman
Women
Geek
Government
Basis
Bases
Lyin
Listen
Monty
Holy
Swords
Strange
Autonomous
System
Ponds
Lying
Peasants

More quotes by Graham Chapman

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John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
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One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
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One, two, ... five! Three, my lord.
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We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
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We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!
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Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.
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My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.
Graham Chapman
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In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
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At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before.
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Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.
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Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!!
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Tis but a scratch! A scratch? Your arm's off! No it isn't. Then what's that? Oh come on, pansy!
Graham Chapman
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Graham Chapman
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You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.
Graham Chapman
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I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
Graham Chapman
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We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
Graham Chapman
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McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...
Graham Chapman
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I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.
Graham Chapman
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I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Graham Chapman
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Camelot is a silly place.
Graham Chapman