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Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.

Graham Chapman

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Graham Chapman
Age: 48 †
Born: 1941
Born: January 8
Died: 1989
Died: October 4
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Physician
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Leicester
England
Gray Chapman
Graham Arthur Chapman
Burn
Boil
Kill
Flock
Please
Toast
Prayer
Barbecue
Lord
Toasts
Flocks
Stir
Simmer
Stock
Bake

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Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!!
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I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
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Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
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Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.
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When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
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WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color?
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I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim.
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In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
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I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.
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When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life.
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Camelot is a silly place.
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One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
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This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
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We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
Graham Chapman
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John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
Graham Chapman
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Tis but a scratch! A scratch? Your arm's off! No it isn't. Then what's that? Oh come on, pansy!
Graham Chapman
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McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...
Graham Chapman
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I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
Graham Chapman
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You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.
Graham Chapman