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I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

Gracie Allen

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Gracie Allen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1895
Born: July 26
Died: 1964
Died: August 27
Actor
Comedienne
Dancer
Film Actor
Singer
Stage Actor
San Francisco County
California
Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen
Grace Allen
Street
Car
Streets
Parked
Break
Funniest
Running
Forgot
Left
Hill
Thing
Breaks
Hills

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When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.
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The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony.
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All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.
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Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.
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A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.
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I'm having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there's no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you'll have no use for after you're elected.
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When you learn to make everybody happy, you will possess the golden secret of how to milk the contented voters. But do it in such a way that they won't think you want them to vote for you just because you need the money. They need the money, and besides, they can think up other reasons if they try.
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This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.
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I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.
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You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.
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My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.
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Never place a period where God has placed a comma.
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Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.
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A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.
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Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.
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You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?
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I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.
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I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.
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They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.
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It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.
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