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I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

Gracie Allen

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Gracie Allen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1895
Born: July 26
Died: 1964
Died: August 27
Actor
Comedienne
Dancer
Film Actor
Singer
Stage Actor
San Francisco County
California
Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen
Grace Allen
Streets
Parked
Break
Funniest
Running
Forgot
Left
Hill
Thing
Breaks
Hills
Street
Car

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It's a game everybody plays. If you see a man with a beard and holler Beaver! it's five points. And if you see a man with a moustache, it's onlI three points.
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Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality.
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Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.
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This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.
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My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.
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They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.
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You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.
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The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.
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All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.
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Try to understand me. Nothing is impossible.
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Never place a period where God has placed a comma.
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I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.
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Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.
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You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?
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Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.
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I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.
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This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.
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When you learn to make everybody happy, you will possess the golden secret of how to milk the contented voters. But do it in such a way that they won't think you want them to vote for you just because you need the money. They need the money, and besides, they can think up other reasons if they try.
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It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.
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