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Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.

Gracie Allen

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Gracie Allen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1895
Born: July 26
Died: 1964
Died: August 27
Actor
Comedienne
Dancer
Film Actor
Singer
Stage Actor
San Francisco County
California
Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen
Grace Allen
Keep
Able
Must
Fence
Every
Ground
Ears
Politician
Feet

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When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.
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It's a game everybody plays. If you see a man with a beard and holler Beaver! it's five points. And if you see a man with a moustache, it's onlI three points.
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This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.
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Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.
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They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.
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A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.
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Gracie: Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones. Blanche Morton: Nina Jones? Gracie: I've never heard of her either, because she gave up.
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I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.
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This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.
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Try to understand me. Nothing is impossible.
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A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.
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When you learn to make everybody happy, you will possess the golden secret of how to milk the contented voters. But do it in such a way that they won't think you want them to vote for you just because you need the money. They need the money, and besides, they can think up other reasons if they try.
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All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.
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I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.
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Never place a period where God has placed a comma.
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You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.
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I fully realize that every promise I make, the Republicans will double and the Democrats will redouble. They think this will make me vulnerable, but they don't know I have some tricks up my sleeve, along with a box of raisins to munch on while I'm waiting for the returns to come in.
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Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.
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I'm having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there's no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you'll have no use for after you're elected.
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My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.
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