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All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.
Gracie Allen
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Gracie Allen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1895
Born: July 26
Died: 1964
Died: August 27
Actor
Comedienne
Dancer
Film Actor
Singer
Stage Actor
San Francisco County
California
Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen
Grace Allen
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Haven
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Ridiculous
More quotes by Gracie Allen
It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.
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I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.
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I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.
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The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony.
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A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.
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They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.
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My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.
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I fully realize that every promise I make, the Republicans will double and the Democrats will redouble. They think this will make me vulnerable, but they don't know I have some tricks up my sleeve, along with a box of raisins to munch on while I'm waiting for the returns to come in.
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I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.
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Try to understand me. Nothing is impossible.
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When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.
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Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.
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This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.
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I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.
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When you learn to make everybody happy, you will possess the golden secret of how to milk the contented voters. But do it in such a way that they won't think you want them to vote for you just because you need the money. They need the money, and besides, they can think up other reasons if they try.
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Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.
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A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.
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It's a game everybody plays. If you see a man with a beard and holler Beaver! it's five points. And if you see a man with a moustache, it's onlI three points.
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You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?
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Never place a period where God has placed a comma.
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