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I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.

Gracie Allen

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Gracie Allen
Age: 69 †
Born: 1895
Born: July 26
Died: 1964
Died: August 27
Actor
Comedienne
Dancer
Film Actor
Singer
Stage Actor
San Francisco County
California
Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen
Grace Allen
Else
Anybody
Ends
Middle
Best
Start
Firsts
Reading
Ending
Book
Whatever
Twice
First
Read
Fast
Like
Funny
Toward
Inspirational
Beginning

More quotes by Gracie Allen

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I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.
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When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.
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This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.
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I'm having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there's no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you'll have no use for after you're elected.
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The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.
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A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.
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Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.
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Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.
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Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality.
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I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.
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Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.
Gracie Allen
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A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.
Gracie Allen
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I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.
Gracie Allen
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My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.
Gracie Allen
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When you learn to make everybody happy, you will possess the golden secret of how to milk the contented voters. But do it in such a way that they won't think you want them to vote for you just because you need the money. They need the money, and besides, they can think up other reasons if they try.
Gracie Allen
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Try to understand me. Nothing is impossible.
Gracie Allen
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All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.
Gracie Allen
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I fully realize that every promise I make, the Republicans will double and the Democrats will redouble. They think this will make me vulnerable, but they don't know I have some tricks up my sleeve, along with a box of raisins to munch on while I'm waiting for the returns to come in.
Gracie Allen
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I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.
Gracie Allen
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This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.
Gracie Allen