I've never fancied myself as a pole dancer.

When Andy Carroll first appeared on the scene he was a tall skinny kid and his coordination was all over the place. He reminded me of a giraffe.

It is easy being a manager when you are one of 25,000 sitting in the stand or if you are an ex-player who is now working for the media who will never manage anything better than an under-10 team, thinking he knows best - and you know what I'm talking about, and I will deal with that, trust me.

David James is frustrated because he thinks us being bottom isn't helping his chances with England. I think it gives him more chance to show his ability.

I'm not a lemming about to run off the end of a cliff.