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Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Clubs
Amuse
Nobody
Imitate
Another
Jerry
Around
Comics
Back
Hanging
Would
Owners
Club
Comedian

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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
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If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.
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I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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You never know what people will choose to be offended by.
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Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.
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I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.
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I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'
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You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
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The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
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I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
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At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.
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One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.
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No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
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I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?
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I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.
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R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
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In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
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I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
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I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at a hotel afterwards where the speakers were blasting 'Shakedown,' a song from the movie. That felt like a show biz moment to me.
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