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If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Corner
Corners
Pages
Horse
Jesus
Home
Flip
Testament
Riding

More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

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No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
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You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.
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The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
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There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive!
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Nothing can help my comedy.
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I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
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I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at a hotel afterwards where the speakers were blasting 'Shakedown,' a song from the movie. That felt like a show biz moment to me.
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I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
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At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.
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R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
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Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.
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Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'
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I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'
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I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
Gilbert Gottfried
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In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
Gilbert Gottfried
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I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.
Gilbert Gottfried
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One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.
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I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
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