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I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Thinking
Funnier
Davis
Personally
Miles
Working
Think

More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

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I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?
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Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
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There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience.
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The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.
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People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
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Nothing can help my comedy.
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I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'
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If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.
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If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
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The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.
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A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'
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I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like its crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like its laughing. Nowadays, we would say, How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.
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I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
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R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
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I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.
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I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
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I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
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