Quote

You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Really
Unless
Scumbag
Always
Television
Refers
Show
Cringe
Doesn
Asshole
Shows
Ass
Someone
British
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Rules

More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

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I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.
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If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
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If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
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I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
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I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive!
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People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
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Nothing can help my comedy.
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I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?
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No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
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If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.
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Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.
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The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
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If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.
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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
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