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R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
Gilbert Gottfried
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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Work
Fisher
Carrie
Gotten
Wars
Star
Since
Stars
War
More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried
You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
Gilbert Gottfried
You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
Gilbert Gottfried
The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.
Gilbert Gottfried
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
Gilbert Gottfried
I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.
Gilbert Gottfried
I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.
Gilbert Gottfried
One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.
Gilbert Gottfried
Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.
Gilbert Gottfried
No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
Gilbert Gottfried
Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'
Gilbert Gottfried
I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.
Gilbert Gottfried
People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
Gilbert Gottfried
Every time you open the paper now, there seems to be another celebrity getting arrest for masturbation. First, it was Peewee Herman and then George Michael. If masturbation's a crime, I should be on death row.
Gilbert Gottfried
A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'
Gilbert Gottfried
I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
Gilbert Gottfried
I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
Gilbert Gottfried
I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.
Gilbert Gottfried
If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
Gilbert Gottfried
I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like its crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like its laughing. Nowadays, we would say, How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.
Gilbert Gottfried
I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
Gilbert Gottfried
