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The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Joy
Roasts
Hurt
Offended
Pretend
Sports
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Good
Laugh
People
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More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

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There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
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The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.
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If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
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The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
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In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
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Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.
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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
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You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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Nothing can help my comedy.
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I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
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I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.
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R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
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I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
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A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'
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Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.
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I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
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I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
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Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.
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