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The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Joy
Roasts
Hurt
Offended
Sports
Pretend
Good
Sport
People
Laugh
Watches
Watch
Laughing

More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

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Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.
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You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.
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If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
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People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
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There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience.
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Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.
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I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
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I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
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If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
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You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
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I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.
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Every time you open the paper now, there seems to be another celebrity getting arrest for masturbation. First, it was Peewee Herman and then George Michael. If masturbation's a crime, I should be on death row.
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I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
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I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.
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There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
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I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.
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Nothing can help my comedy.
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