Quote

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

Gilbert Gottfried

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Better
Tastes
Paying
Taste
Food
Else
Someone

More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

Image
There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
You never know what people will choose to be offended by.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
Nothing can help my comedy.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive!
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
Every time you open the paper now, there seems to be another celebrity getting arrest for masturbation. First, it was Peewee Herman and then George Michael. If masturbation's a crime, I should be on death row.
Gilbert Gottfried
Image
You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
Gilbert Gottfried