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I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Either
Club
Times
Area
Means
Bother
Night
Killed
Didn
Clubs
Improvisation
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Insignificant

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If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.
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There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
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I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.
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You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
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I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.
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I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
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If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
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The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
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If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
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I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.
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Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
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Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.
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I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
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People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
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You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
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One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.
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The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.
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