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There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive!

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Certain
Things
Insensitive
Think
Joke
Thinking
Totally
Jokes
Fine
Somebody
Else

More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

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In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
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There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
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I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'
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Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.
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I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
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Every time you open the paper now, there seems to be another celebrity getting arrest for masturbation. First, it was Peewee Herman and then George Michael. If masturbation's a crime, I should be on death row.
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I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
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If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.
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You never know what people will choose to be offended by.
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I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at a hotel afterwards where the speakers were blasting 'Shakedown,' a song from the movie. That felt like a show biz moment to me.
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No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
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I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
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Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.
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You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
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If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
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If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
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I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
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Nothing can help my comedy.
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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
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I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.
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