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Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
World
Opera
Destroyed
Totally
Biggest
Gone
Reality
Used
Operas
Thing
Soap

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At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.
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I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
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If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
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People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
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If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.
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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
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Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.
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If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.
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I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
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I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.
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R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
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I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
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I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
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I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.
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In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
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You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'
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Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.
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I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.
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I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
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