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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
Gilbert Gottfried
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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Fill
Percent
Wanted
Never
Time
Calendar
Calendars
More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried
There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
Gilbert Gottfried
If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.
Gilbert Gottfried
I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like its crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like its laughing. Nowadays, we would say, How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.
Gilbert Gottfried
You never know what people will choose to be offended by.
Gilbert Gottfried
I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?
Gilbert Gottfried
If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
Gilbert Gottfried
In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
Gilbert Gottfried
I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.
Gilbert Gottfried
You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
Gilbert Gottfried
I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
Gilbert Gottfried
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
Gilbert Gottfried
I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.
Gilbert Gottfried
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
Gilbert Gottfried
I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
Gilbert Gottfried
I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
Gilbert Gottfried
I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
Gilbert Gottfried
Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
Gilbert Gottfried
One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.
Gilbert Gottfried
I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.
Gilbert Gottfried
You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
Gilbert Gottfried
