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I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Pranks
Hands
Much
Time
Think
Thinking
People

More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

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I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?
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R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
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I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.
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I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.
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I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
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If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
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Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.
Gilbert Gottfried
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You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
Gilbert Gottfried
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I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at a hotel afterwards where the speakers were blasting 'Shakedown,' a song from the movie. That felt like a show biz moment to me.
Gilbert Gottfried
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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
Gilbert Gottfried
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No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
Gilbert Gottfried
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You never know what people will choose to be offended by.
Gilbert Gottfried
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At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.
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Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.
Gilbert Gottfried
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
Gilbert Gottfried
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I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
Gilbert Gottfried
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In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
Gilbert Gottfried
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I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
Gilbert Gottfried
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People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
Gilbert Gottfried
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I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.
Gilbert Gottfried