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I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
Time
Think
Thinking
People
Pranks
Hands
Much

More quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

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Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.
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I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
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I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.
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You can say ass, but you can't say asshole. That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an ass. Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
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Nothing can help my comedy.
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You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.
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The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.
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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
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I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
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Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.
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Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.
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Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'
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At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.
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I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?
Gilbert Gottfried
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You never know what people will choose to be offended by.
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People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
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No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
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In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
Gilbert Gottfried