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You never know what people will choose to be offended by.

Gilbert Gottfried

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Gilbert Gottfried
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: February 28
Actor
Comedian
Podcaster
Television Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried
People
Offended
Choose
Never

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Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.
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If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.
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If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
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There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience.
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You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
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I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?
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The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.
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I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.
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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
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There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
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I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
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Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
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I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
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I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
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Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'
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I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at a hotel afterwards where the speakers were blasting 'Shakedown,' a song from the movie. That felt like a show biz moment to me.
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R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher
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I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
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No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
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