Quote

When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : We are not amused.

George Mikes

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George Mikes
Age: 75 †
Born: 1912
Born: February 15
Died: 1987
Died: August 30
Author
Biographer
Journalist
Writer
Siklos
Head
Ceremony
Monarch
Happened
Wicked
Monarchs
Funny
Humorous
Amused
Without
Russia
Declared
Much
Subject
Turkeys
England
Turkey
Czar
Subjects
Annoyed
Sultan
Cutting
Unworthy
Czars

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People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth.
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Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better.
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The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.
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In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.
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You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
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Travel' is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in themid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease - its scientific name is travelitis furiosus - is carried by a germ called prosperity.
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To be extravagant you need money. True. But you do not need your own money.
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Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents.
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The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work.
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A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.
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Japan is, you often feel, an improved version of the United States.
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It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who make a wonderful living out of it but also for the deceased who suddenly becomes the centre of attention and fuss.
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Many Continentals think life is a game the English think cricket is a game.
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Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives.
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Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
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A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the Soviet Union. He had learnt it at elementary school at secondary school at his sports club at the Komsomol at the university at a folk dancing course at the chess-club.
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On the Continent people have good food in England people have good table manners.
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On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected in England they are universally worshipped as in ancient Egypt.
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In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.
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