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Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!
George Lopez
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George Lopez
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: April 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
LA
California
George López
Luck
Pinch
Cry
Wrestle
Ground
Cops
Humor
Cop
Taser
Seen
Neck
Tasers
Funny
Necks
Angie
Two
Mom
Bambi
Good
Shoes
Dart
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I got a pain in my chest, and I can't breathe
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I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.
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Shows should just be able to be shows without hyphenating their lead characters.
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I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.
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You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people you're not going to see all black people you're going to see what the world looks like. I promised myself that if I ever got an opportunity where I would be able to make a difference and have a say, that I would want to deliver [that] message [of inclusivity].
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I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
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I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all.
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D.C. is a great place. The music, jazz, has always been great here, the restaurants have always been fantastic here. And there's been a lot of changes in this city over the last 30 years, and all for the better.
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David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.
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It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?'
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Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.
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Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.
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One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.
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Laughter survives... it has to survive.
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It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.
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Immigration is an issue of global significance in America. And if you look at the terrorist alerts and attacks, Latinos [as a group] are not in the top five list [for] terror alerts.
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When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
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The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'
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We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!
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You know how Mexican restaurants always have border in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people: Kunta's Kitchen or Shackles. They don't do it to white people. You don't see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel... oh, nevermind.
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