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Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
George Lopez
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George Lopez
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: April 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
LA
California
George López
Firsts
Presidential
First
John
Obama
Completely
Humor
Funny
Albino
Black
Candidate
May
Candidates
More quotes by George Lopez
I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.
George Lopez
Laughter survives... it has to survive.
George Lopez
Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!
George Lopez
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!
George Lopez
Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.
George Lopez
When you go to cable, there are no stations and no affiliates and they allow you to do your show
George Lopez
I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
George Lopez
We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!
George Lopez
Everything we play when we are growing up, is team related. In this game (of golf) you can find all the answers yourself. You don't need to throw the ball in the air and play catch with yourself. You get a bucket of balls and go out there with your clubs, and you hit and learn and you get better. And there's no top.
George Lopez
I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine.
George Lopez
I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.
George Lopez
It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.
George Lopez
It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?'
George Lopez
When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
George Lopez
D.C. is a great place. The music, jazz, has always been great here, the restaurants have always been fantastic here. And there's been a lot of changes in this city over the last 30 years, and all for the better.
George Lopez
If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.
George Lopez
As Latinos, you want [people] to come to America - not necessarily Latinos, but [anyone who wants] to come here for a better life. That's kind of how this country was founded and the history of this country.
George Lopez
I can never do nothing in this house!
George Lopez
Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me.
George Lopez
Look, I made a commitment to corn 17 years ago. Sure, I'm a man. I like to go to a barbecue and see beans that I like: baked beans, red beans, black beans, big plump garbanzos. But in the end, I always come home to my sweet, sweet corn.
George Lopez