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I can never do nothing in this house!

George Lopez

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George Lopez
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: April 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
LA
California
George López
Humor
Funny
House
Nothing
Never

More quotes by George Lopez

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When I first heard about Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I thought, no. This, this is ridiculous. And then you read the script and you close the script and you go, They aren't going to be able to do that with real dogs. How are they going to do that? You're going to see the strings. But they did.
George Lopez
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It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?'
George Lopez
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I prefer my Mexican food to have a little bit of an animal that suffered a little bit. That's some of the best food.
George Lopez
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When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!
George Lopez
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Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.
George Lopez
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Marijuana brownies are amazing. Very simple to make, too. Just get some Duncan Hines brownie mix and cook the weed right in there. Drop it right in with the butter. I don't know who came up with this idea first, but it's sheer genius.
George Lopez
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It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.
George Lopez
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When you go to cable, there are no stations and no affiliates and they allow you to do your show
George Lopez
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if you make waffles, throw out the first one.
George Lopez
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It was June 4, 1979, the first time I went on stage. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I couldn't not do it. I quit everything in my life and this was the one thing I couldn't quit.
George Lopez
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Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.
George Lopez
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You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people you're not going to see all black people you're going to see what the world looks like. I promised myself that if I ever got an opportunity where I would be able to make a difference and have a say, that I would want to deliver [that] message [of inclusivity].
George Lopez
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At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.
George Lopez
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Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.
George Lopez
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When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.
George Lopez
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I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.
George Lopez
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I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
George Lopez
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No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!
George Lopez
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Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!
George Lopez
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Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me.
George Lopez