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George Lopez

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George Lopez
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: April 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
LA
California
George López
Cable
Cables
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More quotes by George Lopez

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One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.
George Lopez
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Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
George Lopez
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So I started to relax and would work on my act eight hours a day, sitting at a desk writing at my grandmother's house, and I would put on Richard Pryor Live on Long Beach and would play it like a loop and think and write
George Lopez
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It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?'
George Lopez
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I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.
George Lopez
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I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine.
George Lopez
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It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.
George Lopez
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It was June 4, 1979, the first time I went on stage. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I couldn't not do it. I quit everything in my life and this was the one thing I couldn't quit.
George Lopez
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80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!
George Lopez
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I prefer my Mexican food to have a little bit of an animal that suffered a little bit. That's some of the best food.
George Lopez
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Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.
George Lopez
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Immigration is an issue of global significance in America. And if you look at the terrorist alerts and attacks, Latinos [as a group] are not in the top five list [for] terror alerts.
George Lopez
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I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.
George Lopez
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No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!
George Lopez
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If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.
George Lopez
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Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.
George Lopez
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Laughter survives... it has to survive.
George Lopez
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I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white. So he would appeal to a universal demographic.
George Lopez
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Making a movie about one group of people isolates the larger majority. That's what I require of the projects that I'm involved with. I would not ever make a movie strictly for Latinos.
George Lopez
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Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me.
George Lopez