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I got a pain in my chest, and I can't breathe
George Lopez
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George Lopez
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: April 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
LA
California
George López
Pain
Chest
Chests
Breathe
More quotes by George Lopez
Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.
George Lopez
It was June 4, 1979, the first time I went on stage. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I couldn't not do it. I quit everything in my life and this was the one thing I couldn't quit.
George Lopez
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!
George Lopez
Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.
George Lopez
Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.
George Lopez
I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white. So he would appeal to a universal demographic.
George Lopez
If you read social media, you can see how immigration is such a hot-button debate and [a hotbed] of ignorance. You know there's guys that say immigrants come here, and they create so much crime and they take jobs. There's multiple sides to every story.
George Lopez
As Latinos, you want [people] to come to America - not necessarily Latinos, but [anyone who wants] to come here for a better life. That's kind of how this country was founded and the history of this country.
George Lopez
When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
George Lopez
The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'
George Lopez
I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all.
George Lopez
I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
George Lopez
If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.
George Lopez
When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.
George Lopez
One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.
George Lopez
80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!
George Lopez
David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.
George Lopez
You know how Mexican restaurants always have border in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people: Kunta's Kitchen or Shackles. They don't do it to white people. You don't see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel... oh, nevermind.
George Lopez
You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people you're not going to see all black people you're going to see what the world looks like. I promised myself that if I ever got an opportunity where I would be able to make a difference and have a say, that I would want to deliver [that] message [of inclusivity].
George Lopez
Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!
George Lopez