Quote

If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.

George Lopez

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George Lopez
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: April 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
LA
California
George López
Happens
Deal
Factory
Thing
Nobody
Laughs
Deals
Crushed
Lose
Limbs
Huge
Factories
Loses
Machine
Worst
Machines
Happen
Laughing
Limb

More quotes by George Lopez

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One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.
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Marijuana brownies are amazing. Very simple to make, too. Just get some Duncan Hines brownie mix and cook the weed right in there. Drop it right in with the butter. I don't know who came up with this idea first, but it's sheer genius.
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You know how Mexican restaurants always have border in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people: Kunta's Kitchen or Shackles. They don't do it to white people. You don't see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel... oh, nevermind.
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I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.
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80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!
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Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.
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Laughter survives... it has to survive.
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Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
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Life is moments going by, but if you don't grab them, they're gone. For a long time, the only moments that were available were bad ones. So now I make sure to grab the good ones.
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D.C. is a great place. The music, jazz, has always been great here, the restaurants have always been fantastic here. And there's been a lot of changes in this city over the last 30 years, and all for the better.
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If you read social media, you can see how immigration is such a hot-button debate and [a hotbed] of ignorance. You know there's guys that say immigrants come here, and they create so much crime and they take jobs. There's multiple sides to every story.
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The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'
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When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!
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No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!
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I prefer my Mexican food to have a little bit of an animal that suffered a little bit. That's some of the best food.
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Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.
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I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
George Lopez
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if you make waffles, throw out the first one.
George Lopez
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I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.
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Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina!
George Lopez