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I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
George Lopez
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George Lopez
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: April 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
LA
California
George López
Didn
Way
Nobody
Somebody
Stand
More quotes by George Lopez
I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.
George Lopez
Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
George Lopez
Immigration is an issue of global significance in America. And if you look at the terrorist alerts and attacks, Latinos [as a group] are not in the top five list [for] terror alerts.
George Lopez
Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.
George Lopez
I had a very difficult childhood. I was surrounded by people who had both parents, which made me feel different. Having a bit of a rougher existence early on, it made me appreciate the work ethic that my grandparents instilled in me.
George Lopez
When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!
George Lopez
We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!
George Lopez
Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.
George Lopez
It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.
George Lopez
Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!
George Lopez
Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.
George Lopez
I can never do nothing in this house!
George Lopez
When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
George Lopez
I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.
George Lopez
Life is moments going by, but if you don't grab them, they're gone. For a long time, the only moments that were available were bad ones. So now I make sure to grab the good ones.
George Lopez
80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!
George Lopez
When I first heard about Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I thought, no. This, this is ridiculous. And then you read the script and you close the script and you go, They aren't going to be able to do that with real dogs. How are they going to do that? You're going to see the strings. But they did.
George Lopez
Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me.
George Lopez
You know how Mexican restaurants always have border in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people: Kunta's Kitchen or Shackles. They don't do it to white people. You don't see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel... oh, nevermind.
George Lopez
I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.
George Lopez