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Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

George Lopez

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George Lopez
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: April 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
LA
California
George López
Relative
Whoever
Comedy
Nice
Funny

More quotes by George Lopez

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It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?'
George Lopez
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I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.
George Lopez
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At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.
George Lopez
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I had a very difficult childhood. I was surrounded by people who had both parents, which made me feel different. Having a bit of a rougher existence early on, it made me appreciate the work ethic that my grandparents instilled in me.
George Lopez
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The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'
George Lopez
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When you go to cable, there are no stations and no affiliates and they allow you to do your show
George Lopez
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I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.
George Lopez
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It was June 4, 1979, the first time I went on stage. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I couldn't not do it. I quit everything in my life and this was the one thing I couldn't quit.
George Lopez
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I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.
George Lopez
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Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!
George Lopez
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You know how Mexican restaurants always have border in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people: Kunta's Kitchen or Shackles. They don't do it to white people. You don't see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel... oh, nevermind.
George Lopez
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It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.
George Lopez
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Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
George Lopez
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No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!
George Lopez
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Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina!
George Lopez
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I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.
George Lopez
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D.C. is a great place. The music, jazz, has always been great here, the restaurants have always been fantastic here. And there's been a lot of changes in this city over the last 30 years, and all for the better.
George Lopez
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I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.
George Lopez
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I can never do nothing in this house!
George Lopez
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Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.
George Lopez