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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Harder
Position
Funny
Power
More quotes by George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George Carlin
Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
George Carlin
Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
George Carlin
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
George Carlin
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
George Carlin
The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
George Carlin
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin
