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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Power
Harder
Position
Funny
More quotes by George Carlin
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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Life is not that complicated.
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Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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The status quo sucks.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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