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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Harder
Position
Funny
Power

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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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