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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Brother
Seeing
Pleasure
Getting
Inflicting
Wrong
Wondered
Pain
Priests
Much
Brothers
Hated
More quotes by George Carlin
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
George Carlin
No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
George Carlin
Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
George Carlin
I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
George Carlin
