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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Philosopher
Property
Future
Use
Give
Back
Theft
Giving
Rightly
Something
Ownership

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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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