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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Compulsion
Totally
Freedom
Disorderly
Dividend
Dividends

More quotes by George Carlin

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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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