Quote

The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Disorderly
Dividend
Dividends
Compulsion
Totally
Freedom

More quotes by George Carlin

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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
George Carlin
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
George Carlin
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
George Carlin