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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Think
Stealing
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Keeps
People
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Views
Alive
Child
Steal
Children
Thrill
Something
Plain
More quotes by George Carlin
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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