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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
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Views
Alive
Child
Steal
Children
Thrill
Something
Plain
Think
Stealing
Thinking
Keeps

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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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Life is not that complicated.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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