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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Alive
Child
Steal
Children
Thrill
Something
Plain
Think
Stealing
Thinking
Keeps
More quotes by George Carlin
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
George Carlin
There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
George Carlin
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
George Carlin
In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
George Carlin
It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
George Carlin
If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
George Carlin
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
