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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Hold
Street
Knew
Laugh
Attention
Later
Reinforced
Important
Skills
Approval
Every
Became
Corner
Behavior
Skill
Make
Streets
Seconds
Always
Laughing
Corners
People
More quotes by George Carlin
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
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You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
George Carlin
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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