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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Important
Skills
Approval
Every
Became
Corner
Make
Behavior
Skill
Always
Streets
Seconds
People
Laughing
Corners
Hold
Street
Knew
Laugh
Attention
Later
Reinforced
More quotes by George Carlin
I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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A pear is a failed apple.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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