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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Skills
Approval
Every
Became
Corner
Make
Behavior
Skill
Always
Streets
Seconds
People
Laughing
Corners
Hold
Street
Knew
Laugh
Attention
Later
Reinforced
More quotes by George Carlin
Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
George Carlin
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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