Quote

First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Teachers
Began
Teacher
Impersonations
Talking
Storekeeper
Moment
Mimic
Moments
Policemen
Firsts
Practically
First
Neighborhood

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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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