Quote

First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Moment
Mimic
Moments
Policemen
Firsts
Practically
First
Neighborhood
People
Teachers
Began
Teacher
Impersonations
Talking
Storekeeper

More quotes by George Carlin

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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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